Juliana

Hilariously Sweet Revenge

If you are or ever have been extremely annoyed by those telemarketers who always call around dinner time, today is your lucky day because today you will learn many hilarious ways to seek revenge!! I first got the idea to make this site when I had a free period in history class and a lot of us talked about our different methods for getting rid of telemarketers. Then I thought, why not help numerous people with the information that I have gained from many experts? This site is dedicated to giving you, the all important reader, many laughs while giving you ideas to use when your next unsuspecting telemarketer calls. Enjoy!

If any of you readers have other methods, please share them with others so that they too can look forward to the next telemarketer who calls!

Step #1:

Answer the phone when a telemarketer calls (put it on speaker if friends are around). If you have caller ID, then you can either ignore the call or use the example for people with caller ID. If you want, you can answer the phone normally.

Step #2:

Substitute the following conversations/ideas for yourself. If you want , try to keep the person on the line for a while, because they usually get money depending on how quickly they can make a deal. Usually, you should try to get them to hang up on you, but some situations call on you hanging up on them. There are also some CDs telling wacky ways to have fun when telemarketers call.

Step #3:

Prepare to laugh your head off!!!

Suggestions for step 2:

 

- Sound really interested in their product, and then say: "Well then, in that case, I'll--" and hang up.

- Ask them what they sell. Then ask if they sell any random object that they most likely don't sell ( for example, a telephone long distance company doesn't usually sell a purple glass doorknob). When they answer no, then say that you have no use for a company who doesn't sell purple glass doorknobs and hang up.

- Answer the phone and when you hear that it's a telemarketer, go and find your sibling and tell your brother or sister that it's a call for them.

- Try to cut in on the telemarketer so that you can ramble on about any topic. Talk about the news; pretend that you just broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and that you really need to talk to someone and express your feelings; or just talk about random topics. Then you can hang up when you want to if they don't hang up on you.

- Say that you, too, sell their kind of product, or that you already have about 5 of whatever the product is, so you definitely don't need to hear their sales pitch.

-If you have caller ID, you can either: a) not answer the phone, or b) answer in a baby voice, and when they ask where your mommy and daddy are, say that are both in the shower, but you'll go get them. Either the telemarketer will say "oh, no that's OK, I'll call back another time" or you can pretend to be the angry parents who hang up the phone.

-You can hang up on them, then use star 69 to call them back, but make sure that you have something to talk or lecture about.

- Just HANG UP the phone!!!!!

Drawings made by Juliana Olsson, COPYRIGHT!